Dealing with worries

by Omoniyi Alli

Dealing with worries: There will always be something to worry about, all the time. Truly, life is full of ups and downs, unexpected disappointments and tragedies, and honestly a lot of things that just refuse to go according to our optimistic plans.

Anyone who has lived a good number of years on earth would have some experience of this and if we look at it honestly, this might be a legitimate basis for worry and anxiety.

And so we find ourselves confronted regularly with the temptation to worry about how things work out; will our plan turn out well? will the good become better or worse? or will the not-so-good things become better or will take a dip into disaster? Whether it’s in our relationships, finances, health or any other area of our lives, there are possibilities which are beyond our control. This throws up some legitimate fears which then become the object of our worries.

The problem with worry, however, is that it often takes things that are mere negatives possibilities (and have alternative possibilities which are positive) and treats it as if they are inevitable. Worry treats things that could happen and treat them as if they have happened or will certainly happen.

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This kind of anxiety and unease makes people miserable and sucks the energy out of them. It is dangerous, if left unchecked, because it magnifies negativity in such a way that eventually leads people to act desperate and often times ruin things that could have been better. While legitimate fears and possibilities that may cause us to have some worry and anxiety may come up, we must deal with them in such a way that we overcome such feelings of worry quickly, because it is better to be (reasonably) optimistic than to worry.

Here are some important reasons why you must not tolerate worry in Your Life and we must confront worry as it comes up in our lives and not allow it to fester.

1.       Worry makes our thinking problem-oriented

We don’t need worry to size up the problems or negative prospects of a situation; our logical reasoning does that. Worry simply comes to make it our main or only focus and when our thinking becomes problem-oriented, we may find it hard to come up with prevention or solutions, even though it may be right on the tip of our fingers. Worry causes an imbalance in the mind. In order to be or remain a problem-solver, one cannot live in worry.

2.       Worry robs us of the ability to live in the present

Worry is mainly about projections; negative projections that may never happen. This makes it a torment that robs people of the ability to enjoy and engage with life in the present. Many relationships suffer badly when one or both parties are prone to worry, as they find it hard to emotionally (and/or physically) present for other parties. Life comes in three phases. The Past, the present and the future.

You should be able to reminisce and enjoy the moments of the past. Enjoy the moments of the present as they come and anticipate the moments of the future to come; so that when they do, you can enjoy them. Many people who make a habit of worry may find life and people moving on without them but the worst part is that many times, most of their fears never actualize despite having robbed them of so much. So please don’t worry. Stop worrying.

3.       Worry creates a negative attitude

If a person is worrying, they are ruminating over negative possibilities and eventually it comes up in their speech, their attitude and disposition to life. Nobody wants to be around a negative person. And when you begin to start thinking negative, you tend to loose in a job, a task, or a project before you begin them.

You should not allow yourself to develop a negative attitude because you have consistently built up a life of worrying. As a Man, your lady might not tell you but it can drive her away from you. Your children might not tell you but they wouldn’t feel free to tell you anything that concerns the, because they know you will worry.

Also to women, try and reduce your worrying to the minimum. Don’t be 25 or 26 and be looking 50 because you consistently want to worry about something that won’t happen or that has happened or that you think will happen. Life is a gift. Enjoy it.

4.       Worry can lead to wrong decisions

Many times, worry and anxiety make people make wrong decisions; they run when they shouldn’t, they antagonize the wrong people, they give their money to people they shouldn’t; the list is endless. It is a great danger to make decisions from a place of worry; it can be really damaging; not only to you, but to your immediate circle. You could hurt people around you due to the fact that you lacked a little bit of patience.

It could be your child, your fiancé, your wife, your best friend, who ever. Just try to learn to master the Art of being patient.

5.       Worry can lead to controlling behavior

When we allow our fears and insecurities to take over us, the tendency is that we will want to control things in order to prevent what we are afraid of from happening.

This is bad for our relationships. Trying to control everything around us often spirals into manipulative and abusive behavior; we may tell lies, threaten people and do other desperate things just because we believe we are trying to prevent bad things from happening. Nobody in their right mind will stick around such behavior for long. As a parent, worrying can drive you to being over protective of them.

You send a guide everywhere you kids go, you lock them inside the house before you go out, and you don’t want them to attend a party of go see a friend because you’re worried about what will happen. Or as a guy in a relationship, you begin to stalk your lady where ever she goes, on social media. It can drive you crazy without you knowing. You begin having different thoughts of things that would never happen and you develop distrust and your relationship fail and you start blaming her or him, whichever the case maybe.

6.       Worry affects health and well-being

It’s inevitable; the amount of negativity that constant worry supplies will create stress, deplete energy, make people unable to rest and properly take care of themselves. All of this will eventually show up as poor health; physical and mental. Amongst these, you could age quickly; you could get an high blood pressure, an heart attack. So please. Prevention they say, is better than cure.

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